


The Magic Inside You

by Brony1234



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, South Park
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-18 00:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14842380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brony1234/pseuds/Brony1234
Summary: Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman unexpectedly get accepted to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, along with many other kids from South Park.  There they learn magic, meet new friends and enemies, and break a ton of school rules while doing so.





	1. The Letters

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman couldn’t be any happier. They had just finished fifth grade and they would never have to go back to South Park Elementary ever again, or see Mr. Garrison. The boys had the whole Summer to do whatever they wanted. And as the end of Summer drew nearer, so did the beginning of their new adventures at South Park Middle School. 

Stan had only just returned from back to school shopping with his parents when he noticed an owl perched on the front porch of his house. What was strange was that it was around noon when he and his parents arrived home, and owls don’t come out until it’s dark. But what was even stranger was that the owl had a letter in its beak addressed to him in fancy green writing. The letter also had a red wax seal with some sort of symbol on it. 

Who the hell still writes letters? Stan thought. Compared to all the weird things that happen in South Park pretty much all the time, this was nothing to him. 

“Mom, Dad there’s an owl that has a letter for me on the porch.” Stan said to his parents. 

“Who the hell still writes letters?” Randy replied. “Whatever, go open it.” Sharon silently agreed. They were both used to how bizarre South Park can be. 

Stan began to break the wax seal as he thought about what this owl’s letter had for him. He was probably going to end up going on some crazy quest again. “Dear Mr. Marsh,” he began to read out loud. “We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

“Witchcraft and what?” Sharon began. 

“Wizardry, apparently.” Stan replied. “Please find enclosed a a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl no later than July 31. Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress.” 

“Well, I guess I’m not going to South Park Middle School.” 

“Where exactly is this school?” Randy asked. 

“It says I have to be on platform 9 and 3/4 at King’s Cross Station by 11 am... in England. “ Stan said as he skimmed the letter for more information. 

“England? But that’s so far away. How do they expect you to get to England?” Asked Sharon. 

“There is going to be a portkey available in Denver on August 24 to 31. It basically teleports you to wherever you want to go, I think.”

Weird things happen in South Park all the time, but getting accepted into a magical school on the other side of the world was new. But I was supposed to go to South Park Middle School. Stan thought. Learning magic has got to be better than normal school. But I’d have no friends there. What if Kyle and Kenny didn’t get accepted? Cartman I could do without, but Kyle is my best friend and Kenny’s really great too. But then again, what if they did get accepted? I’ll have to call them later. 

“So, can I go to Hogwarts?”

Randy and Sharon looked at each other in confusion. They weren’t sure if they could let Stan go so far away from home for months on end. But there he would have the chance to learn magic, maybe that could explain why he seemed prone to go on such strange journeys with his little friends. 

“We’ll think about it.” Randy said. 

The owl was still perched on the front porch, and it wasn’t going to leave until it had a letter to take back to Hogwarts. 

 

~

 

“You got a letter from an owl too?” Stan said over the phone to Kyle. 

“Yeah I did, and Cartman called me earlier saying that he and Kenny got one too.” 

Oh great. Thought Stan. Fatass is going to be there too. 

“So are you going to Hogwarts?” Kyle asked. 

“My Mom and Dad said they’d think about it. You?”

“Same with mine. Can you imagine what learning magic is going to be like?” Kyle replied. 

“I have no idea. I just know it’s going to be way better than going to South Park Middle School.” 

“Either way, we’ll never have to see Mr. Garrison again. 

“Thank God for that, anyway Kyle I got to go. See you.”

“Bye, and let me know if your parents let you go to Hogwarts.” 

“Ok, and same with you.” 

 

~

 

That night as Stan tried to fall asleep he thought about what going to Hogwarts would be like. Did any other kids in South Park get accepted? Where exactly is Hogwarts? The letter mentioned going to a called Diagon Alley to get school supplies. Where exactly is Diagon Alley? Do have to get there using magic? How come Shelly didn’t get in? What is Hogwarts like anyway? What did the different animals on the wax seal of his letter mean? Stan had so many questions he needed answered. This didn’t look like another typical adventure for Stan. He’s never used actual magic before. After thinking of possible answers to these questions Stan eventually fell asleep.


	2. Diagon Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go to Diagon Alley to shop for school supplies.

Stan’s parents eventually decided that he was allowed to go to Hogwarts. It took a lot of persuading from Stan to get them to come to this decision. They didn’t like the idea of Stan being so far home for most of the year, so he had to promise his mom and dad that he would come home for the holidays. He would also have to write to them every week. Stan agreed to these terms, because it meant that he was going to study magic, and leave the crazy town of South Park behind for a while. Of course, he knew that studying magic was going to be far more exciting than learning what he would have learned at South Park Middle School, but it can’t be as weird as South Park, right? Who knows, maybe it would be, it was magic after all. But the biggest question Stan had on his mind was why had had he been accepted into a school where he would learn actual magic?

Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman’s parents had also decided to let them go to Hogwarts, on similar conditions that Stan’s parents made Stan agree to. The four boys had decided to do their school shopping together the day the portkey opened, August 24. 

Today was August 24 and the plan was to get to the portkey, get the boys into Diagon Alley, shop and then go home, after even more persuading from Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman their had agreed to let them go alone to do their school shopping. The portkey will be open until the 31, so the boys and their parents would leave on the 31 and find someplace to stay overnight and arrive at King’s Cross Station at 10:30, the train didn’t leave until 11:00 but they thought it would be best to get there early, to figure out how this entire thing works. Stan had wanted to stay in Diagon Alley for the entire time the portkey would be open, but his parents said no because a hotel for that many nights would cost much more money than it would for for just one night. 

The boys and their parents met at the portkey at 12:00 so they would have a lot of time to shop, they also didn’t know how long it would take to reach England by portkey. 

“The letter said that the portkey would be an old looking boot,” Stan said. “And that we just have to grab onto it and it will take to Diagon Alley instantly, and we have to grab it at the same time.”

“So you’re saying that we have to grab this boot, and then boom, we’re in England.” Cartman said skeptically. 

“Dude it’s magic, don’t question it,” Stan said. “On the count of 3 we all grab the boot, 1... 2... 3!”

They took hold of the portkey and went soaring into the air. 

“Now remember boys, come back by 5:00 for dinner!” Sharon called before the boys disappeared out of sight. 

They kept going higher and higher until they were suddenly slammed onto the ground outside the entrance of Diagon Alley. 

“We made it,” said Stan. “Diagon Alley.”

 

~

 

“Well, what are we waiting for?, let’s go!” Kyle yelled. 

The boys ran off into Diagon Alley, the first thing they noticed was how crowded it was, then they noticed all the magical items in the shop windows. 

There were shops for just about every magical item they could think of. There was a shop that only sold potion ingredients, and out of that shop Stan could have sworn he heard a woman walk out and say “Dragon liver, 16 Sickles an ounce, they’re mad....” ‘Dragons cant be real, right,?’ Stan thought. There was lots of hooting coming from the owl post that full of all different kinds of owls, tawny, barn, screech, and even snowy. There was another shop that sold supplies for something called quidditch, and there was a group of kids crowded around a shop window which held brooms, Stan heard one them say “the new nimbus two thousand — fastest ever —“

“All right, first things first,” Stan said. “The letter says for the uniform we need —“

“I don’t wanna wear a uniform.” Cartman complained. 

“Shut up fatass, do you want to go to South Park Middle School?” Kyle snapped at him. Cartman groaned in reply. 

“We need 3 sets of plain black work robes,” Stan continued. “One plain black pointed hat for day wear, one pair of protective gloves, dragon hide or similar, and one winter cloak, black with silver fastenings. Wait, dragons are real?” 

“I guess so.” Kyle said. Hogwarts is gonna be great. 

“So dragons are real, I know what I’d do if I had a dragon.” Cartman said with an evil smile on his face, thinking about using dragons to kill all Jews, hippies, and gingers. 

“Wait, we’re in England so don’t we have to use different money here?” Kenny asked. “And do wizards have their own money?”

“I saw a place where we could exchange money for wizard when we first came in.” Kyle said. 

So the boys went to exchange their money for wizard money, which gold, silver, and bronze coins called galleons, sickles, and knuts. They then entered a called Madam Malkin’s Robes for all Occasions, to get their uniforms. 

“Next,” Stan began. “We need books —“

“We need books?” Cartman started again. “Why can’t we just use computers —“

“God damnit Cartman.” Kyle sighed. “You’ve been accepted into a school where you learn actual magic and you’re already complaining.”

Next they walked into a book store called Flourish and Blotts, where they bought textbooks including titles like, A History of Magic, and The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1. Kyle also bought a book that wasn’t on the list called Hogwarts: A History, to learn more about Hogwarts. 

After the bookstore the boys went to get the rest of the supplies they would need for school, including a wand, a cauldron, a set of glass phials, a telescope, and a set of brass scales. Along the way Kyle was reading Hogwarts: A History. 

“That’s all we need,” Stan said. “And we also have an option of bringing a cat, owl, or toad.”

“We can bring pets to school?” Kyle asked. 

“Yeah, apparently.” Stan replied. There’s a pet shop over there let’s go look in it.”

In the pet shop there were normal animals people keep as pets, like cats and dogs, and there were other animals the boys had never heard of before, like pygmy puffs, which looked like living balls of fluffy pink fur. Stan and Kyle walked out of the store with their own owls, Stan named his Terrance and Kyle named his Phillip. Kenny and Cartman didn’t get any pets, Kenny didn’t have much money left and Cartman didn’t get any pets because if he couldn’t have a dragon then he didn’t want any pets. 

It was around 4:00 when the boys had finished their shopping, and they haven’t eaten anything since before they got here. So they decided to look for a place to get food. 

“I’m so hungry,” Cartman complained for the thousandth time. 

“Will you shut up for minute? We’re trying to look for a place eat,” Kyle said. 

“I guess Diagon Alley is mainly just for shops, and not food,” said Stan. 

“Wait, there’s a butterbeer stand over there!” Kyle said. 

“What the hell is butterbeer?” Cartman asked. 

“I dunno let’s go find out.” Stan said. 

The boys went over to the stand and bought 4 butterbeers. There was a long line at the stand and it took then a while to get their butterbeers.

“It’s not bad,” said Stan after taking a sip of the butterbeer. 

“It tastes like butterscotch candy,” said Kyle. 

“I like it,” Cartman said. 

“Me too,” Kenny agreed. 

After the boys had finished their butterbeers they had decided that they might as well go home now. They went back to entrance of Diagon Alley to find the portkey waiting for them. 

“On the count of 3 we grab it,” said Stan. “1... 2... 3!”

Holding onto their school supplies and owls cages as tight as they could, they immediately blasted straight up into the air, and before they even knew it, they started to go straight down and they hit the ground with a thud. 

They were back in Denver just like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That took a little longer than I thought it would to write. School keeps trying to throw stupid end of year assignments at us. Tomorrow is my last day, so it won’t be problem anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, the start of my first fanfic. The other chapters will definitely be longer than this first one. I’ll post again soon, probably by the end of the week. Thanks for reading!


End file.
